One upon a day

One upon day while I was still living in London, I got the phone call. The one I had been dreading for. A call from D's ex-wife. It wasn't beautiful, really not, but I was calm (well, as calm as you can be when you are woken in the middle of the night only to find out you're a bitch and to be questioned what kinda person you are all this entering to your consciousness through your lover's mobile.) and told her am not a marriage-breaker and I think she should talk about it all with Mr. D. I understood her, she is hurt, insulted and she wants to revenge. During that time I couldn't imagine even in my wildest dreams that she actually is a maniac.

As I found out later, after our sweet chat, she beat the hell out of Mr. D, called to Mr. D's (and my ex boss) boss, ran away and left the kids to Mr. D to take care of and disappeared. (Un)fortunately she returned and life has moved on slightly smoother. Wanna know more about this lovely, feisty woman?

Well, I've forgotten about her.

Now, let's dig into details. We're together with Mr D, not that happily though -you told me, I know- but together. I haven't seen him since mid-August. We have chatted on the phone (last phone bill 150£) I still think he is rather lovely but... I don't want him to be a part of my life here! You know it's a different kind of life I live here, it is mine. This is my home; I have my friends, mine! Yes, I am a ego-centric, childish, ridiculous. And we have this basic lack of trust problem. I believe he is not cheating on me but he doesn't trust me at all. According to him accidents happen as we party with my friends and I have no control over my behavior when am drinking (poor guy, he hasn't even seen me drunk). Accidents? He is referring to...?

I don't always know what the situation between me and Mr D. is He calls me but not often enough and he is coming to visit but he is not excited enough. And I tell you, I was so jealous to his kids. Yes, I hate myself for that... that is so pathetic. Mr. D was on a business trip in France and returned back home on Friday. The thought of him seeing his kids after a while, I hated it. Why should I be ready to give up on a lot of things just because he has had it all already? I know for example that he doesn't want to have more kids. But I do. I want to have a baby of my own, one day (in 10 years or so)

To be honest here -this is just for you, OK? - A teeny tiny accident happened last Saturday. We went to party with some friends but at 3 I realized that am alone in that Irish bar. There was a live band so I wasn't too worried. I was jamming and chatting with a nice Californian professor (oh yes, very impressive). So around 3.30am he asked if i want to join him for a beer...to his flat which was just nearby. He was very nice and i didn't feel he is trying to chat me up so I said yes. Off we go to his nice apartment...and drank some water. we had a lot of things to talk about and the best part was he knows how to dance! Swing and tango, it was sweet and tender yet a bit rough. Hot. Girls, you know the spot in your neck, the sweet spot. When someone kisses it, I just loose it. he did and in the right way. We kissed (not bad either but hey, if man knows how to dance, it equals to...) and danced but then, bloody hell, a thought of D crossed my mind and I decided to go home. So I left. I didn't do anything too bad but that guy was awh...lovely.

I might be behaving a bit unwisely here, do you think? Maybe, one upon a day, I will get it.