Testimony

I wasn't totally honest in the last post.

The guy from work, let's say, Mr.D, has caused me a lot of headache. The team building day wasn't that simple either... I just mean that the people might have a reason to assume something as two guys came out of the nightclub and saw us hugging. (It wasn't just a hug really but...) Anyway, I was supposed to sleep that night at a friend's place who lives just nearby. When I phoned her, she didn't wake up and as a smart girl, I went with Mr. D to sleep in his hotel room. Nothing happened, really, but everybody's gonna believe me, right?

The next day, Mr. D called me and we met quickly. I was very very confused by myself, didn't know what I want and honestly I still don't know. I've spent some really nice time with him but he is not excatly the boyfriend of my dreams. Though we speak a lot, it is all so very physical and that's not enough for me. I need and want there to be a strong emotional connection. Otherwise there's nothing to me.

This Sunday, we went out... We planned the whole day together. He came to pick me up in the morning and we went to see these fantastic caves. They were very impressive. Am still astonished. Well, then the more interesting part. We lay down on the grass in one private "parc" (actually it was more of a forest) and just started kissing and stuff... Uuh, have to say Mr.D knew what he was doing. We didn't really have sex cause I said I think it's not a good idea. I wanted it but now am glad we didn't do it. After we went for a drink and then he took me home... And asked to come in. I said good night. That was the most difficult good night 've ever said. He is so great...but still, there's so many things frightrning me. If it was just about having fun, I'd give it a go but it is not so it is getting difficult.

He is coming to my place today... Am playing with fire and am gonna get burned.